working out

I did part 1 of the NYC ballet before work today and it's the third time in 2 days. I think I mostly got it and I can see the difference in my felxibility. I also did some push ups, sit ups, and more stretches today.
Not sure if I mentioned why I am doing this, but I have a bad ankle from a cross country injury that I sustained in HS. I started having hip pain recently which is this dull constant painevery time I get up. At 26 I am not ready to give up my mobility. I gained a large amount of weight a few years ago but I recently gained 13 more. So I am hoping by eating less, increading blood curculation and creating an exercise routine that is fun, challenging, mobile, and most important, that I will stick too. I want something that when life gets stressful, when on the road or visiting friends I can do without a bunch of noise, is low impact for my ankles and will give me back my flexibility. I love dance and particularly ballet.

However, part 1 has come back to me quite easily but I just popped in part 2 and I know some of the moves, but its a challenge to do some of them. I used to be able to do this entire workout part 1 and 2 no problem, but now curling up in a ball I find my stomach in the way, not a good feeling. Don't ask what I weigh, its not enough I can't run and walk, but enough to be in the way, safe to say, it's to much. This isn't about the numbers on the scale, its about the fact that the decisions I have made regarding poor nutrition, sporadic exercise and WAY to many calories is creating an impact that the US surgeon general warns about. Now I have to live with the consequences of my poor decision, find a balance in my life and regain my health. My weight and overall self is unacceptable, so if you choose to read this part of my blog, join me in taking off the fat suit one layer at a time. It won't be easy, it won't be fast, but it will be done.

I am writing this because this is my blog, because there are many sides to me that take dominance at different times, and maybe my lesson will inspire someone else, back to the dust and shadows post of earlier, in a positive way, maybe it will be a good read for some and for me, its my outlet so that in the end, as most of my journals, they show parts of my life.

I have been down this road before, but not so far to come back. The road is hard and the journey long, it won't be the straight path but the culmination of my divorce, job stress and other personal issues have created this clutter that I carry around every day. I finally got rid of the physical space clutter, now its time to work on decluttering me and my soul, to fill my glass back up and dance a happy dance where I can actually do the splits again, find my ribs and collarbone in the mush, and have a lighter load to carry the lighter pack throughout life, and actually enjoy life, and who knows, much like quitting smoking was, I will probably save a few costly Dr bills -:)