Today I did something I never thought I would do, and it just came out. I am surprised at me, one of those, where did that come from? My day started fine, the van actually started (been having some issues there), the windshield wipers were no problem and the snow wasn't too bad to drive in. Then it snowed, we had a social gathering at work which was nice but I felt claustrophobic, the pop machine didn't work and I have been sick all week. Granted, my flu isn't a reason to not go to work and I can drive in the snow. On my way home, the windshield wipers decided to not work which coupled with snow put me at the verge of insanity. So I took a few breathes, pulled over and made a phone call. Then proceeded to spend 2 hours driving home.
So what did I do today? They told me I HAD to stay at work when 2 hours earlier in my shift they said they were covered. I had already been there 8 hours, live an 45 min in good weather from work and knowing I have to go in tomorrow (meaning not even 6 hours of sleep) I wasn't doing it. I refused to be mandated on the grounds I didn't feel good, plan to be snowed in at home if its going to happen and they have an obligation to give me some planning time. I had clothes in the dryer, wasn't sure if the van would start and knew after a 16 hour day, my ability to cope would be greatly compromised. I had to stop at get my laundry from a relatives as it was and being sick, with that little sleep, it would be too much. So I simply said no, didn't feel good, turned the keys and left.
Does that mean I am truly starting to feel an obligation towards my own health? I think so. I used to be money motivated but money only goes so far. I have never actually refused to stay for overtime but I have never worked for a company whereas I am required to stay every 15 days and wonder after those 15 days if I will be required to stay. Its been 3 weeks. I have grown angry at the lack of ability to plan for anything besides work, 2 weekends on and one off, meaning no mini trips and finding time to get with friends near impossible. My other job that pays less has only required me to stay 2 times in 3 years, is flexible on scheduling, and has a system that makes sense. I am thinking on picking up an odd job or temp job for the next 3 months in an office that makes decent money and will keep things interesting.
I am leaving April 1, looking for a new van and need to work, but all the overtime I was planning to do and have done hasn't gotten me further ahead, just more repairs. So I might as well winter it out, find a local job and go back to having a life for the next few months. Then I won't be spending 10 dollars a day in gas and 2 hours of driving to work.
Stress isn't worth it and money really does only go so far.
3 years ago