Sunday, January 30, 2011

8 weeks 5 days. I got to put in my phone my put 2 weeks notice in. I feel like the days are measured in meals, shifts worked and weeks gone by. I am off monday and tuesday so I will be getting quite a few things done. I am going to call the temp agencies and ask around but ultimately with so few weeks left, we shall see. Yesterday was the climax of stress. I just need to breathe, its all coming together slowly but surely. I am taking on no new obligations. I talked to grandma yesterday and she is good at making sense of chaos which was what I needed. Now its time to do more laundry, make a trip to the store for grandmas cat and go to work. I am odd in that to save money on gas, I feel the need to do everything in a local circle. Now its time to get ready and listen to my podcasts which I started on break but co workers chatted instead which is okay. I enjoy a good chat as well.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I may have to sell a few more items that I own which makes me sad. The hours getting cut @ work, some last minute bills and plans, but really its just getting through it to be on my way. I don't think the path will be easy but its a new path.
8 weeks 6 days to be exact
I apologize for the last few posts being back dated but my data went out and now works again in random order but enough. I am hunting for a new job for the last few weeks although work changes happen in 2 weeks so I may ride it out, but I am going to look. My relative wants to go inpatient because I am leaving. I just don't know and if he stays longer I don't get to leave. I have been selfless and supported inpatient my entire life but like I told him why not ask me sooner not 8 weeks before leaving. Time will tell. I just can't do obligations now. Not this close to leaving. I already signed up for classes, got funding approved and just started need to do my income tax today so I have that in hand to get the windshield fixed. Then its on we go. I can't believe how slow the days are but time goes fast.
I had the oddest brunch today but it sounded good: 2 hotdogs with katchup, a baked potato with katchup, and a few baby carrots. The last 2 days I haven't gone anywhere as I am trying to save money. I go out, I spend as I would need to eat, use gas ect. I am trying to live like a spartan until I leave, then I plan to mosy, get out west, explore, and then look at options. I think I have explored craigslist and talked to people quite a bit. I have an idea of parking places, apartments if needed and a list of vets and boarders for the cats if needed. Now I am going to focus on saving money, and prepping to go as it just maybe the trip starts sooner and I would have to sublet my apartment for a month or so. If I leave sooner, I am heading south and then over. Early 1 27 11 written
I have had no calling or data ability at my apartment which I normally do. But in the least I started thinking of the things that are moving with me. My job is looking like they are going to make everyone rebid over the first shift full time positions they are getting rid of so the entire campus is getting punished. There is one spot I won't work and its likely being close to lowest on the pole I am going to get screwed and if I do, then its time to leave sooner. Hopefully the process will take longer to negotiate. Written 1 27 11
I am going to begin shopping for another cell provider once I get the move done. I just renewed for the month with straight talk and have only downloaded 2 apps and 1 podcast episode from the history of Rome by mike duncan and it was the last one. I got half way through the first one and my phone is being dumb. Its either going to be a android tablet with services and google voice and maybe a cheap cell. As of right now I can't call either.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Here in America we have people in wheelchairs who can drive, go to the store, take a shower and hold a regular job. I know blind and deaf folks doing the above, using talkers and attending special schools giving them a normal life able to communicate. For example, I attended a animal show and there was a brother and sister who successfully flew from western to eastern us with 2 persians, checked into a hotel and got to the show and made their rings. The only help they needed were the rings holding up their number instead of the Loud speaker announcing it. In many countries, those with disabilities don't have schools to teach them sign language or someone to show a person in a wheelchair how to take a shower and get in the bathtub. I can't change all of society, but by traveling, writing stories and taking an active role in individuals I meet, I think its a start. My goal isn't to fish for donations and show sad cases but instead give society a view of a functional human being that can teach us about being human. Some can't talk or walk, but even they have a right to life, a right to be happy, clean and free from abuse. Sometimes a hello, a toy, a bath and a clean bath, then eating dinner with others will do miraculous things for a persons self esteem and only then do you find what a person is capable of. I must say overall, not in all cases, but I think we have a pretty good system and in this part, I am truly happy to be an american.
So the astro that was up for sale was offered to me again but with a bad axle and expired plates. I had planned on buying it in December but they decided they needed it again. My van isn't perfect and neither are newer. I think I am further ahead to keep my income tax money for the trip since my last check from the job I lost went to vet bills and paying off old debts which was important to move with a clean slate.
I have had wal mart smart talk for about a year, maybe longer, have had 2 phones and my old one got okay data and great service on the talking.
My new Nokia e71 gets random coverage and the talking isn't so great. This phone is my entire data and phone communication line as my work isn't based online nor are my hobbies at this time. They used to be but finding work with my skill set is harder and that's fine as I enjoy my current career field. However, one doesn't enter human services to make lots of money.
Therefore, when I get to az I don't want to be pushed to sign a lease or buy this or that. I want options and my classes will be in the evening so I can go to cooler climates to begin with. I would like to eventually find a small trailer or apartment close to school or with transportation options as time goes on but I don't want to commit until I have a class schedule and start actually getting money from my gi bill, probably a couple months worth as I want a savings before anymore bills.
Right now the only bills I will have is my insurance for one vehicle , cats, food, fuel, and phone. Depending on wifi options will determine what data plan I need as I want to watch netflix so I don't go to the theatre all the time. Then some type of ereader for the good news and books since I will need those. I love books but end up spending to much money. In the end, I hope portable aNd affordable technology can help save money, gas and clutter.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Cats... we had to clean rooms at work last night and I am allergic to dust in the worst way.
I have lived with low allergen cats for five years and now that I have one that isn't plus the litter box, I literally still can't breathe. My nose is stuffy and throat swollen. I have never had problems with cats before. Time to try a new litter, any ideas are appreciated.
Today I get to go to the bank and then to work. I have to start the process of figuring out banking on the road and who has the best options as I will be on the road from April 1st when my lease is up here to June 1st when I start a new lease in AZ whether its at a campground or an apartment. I would prefer for the cats to be a 1 room apartment and due to the heat, I would like AC. And since my van has a few issues, I would like to be able to bike to work. I am tired of driving miles to work. Then I have time to save up for a nice class B.
Once I am on break from school next summer, I would like like to go back to alaska to work or take a trip to russia which is why I don't want to invest now and then have to store or sell it if I choose international travel.
Thanks Mike for the comments -:) this has definitely saved some trees.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

What a day. I bought the nice scrub pants yesterday and they are too small, size medium so I get to take them back for a different pair or maybe some shoes because mine are falling apart.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Today has been insane. I get into work and they wanted us to straighten up rooms. We did that and then onto the rest of the day. I bought another pair of scrubs today and I am glad I did because I am working in a different place tonight and its a messy one.
Then its onto laundry and life as we know it. The schedule this time around doesn't leave much time for stuff at home. I did look on craigslist and there are some apartments that would cost what I pay now. I am considering it as it would give the cats and I air conditioning in the summer, its walking distance to shopping and bike to school. That would give me time to save up and it doesn't tie me to the area longer than I want, I could then afford to take trips in the van, visit home and for the cost of storage and boarding for the cats it makes sense. az is to hot to keep the cats in the van and starting out I will need an address. Then I can get a camper and van that is what I really want and the campground fees are about that of rent.
So I think some folks wonder why I post so much. Well, I use this as my writing board instead of a pen and paper that's a waste of trees and ink. I am back at the apartment or my personal cave as some call it and its odd.

Friday, January 21, 2011

I enjoyed another night at the folks. It was pleasant, now another relatives I am visiting and we all have those who want from us all the time. The cats are with me tonight though. I didn't do what said person wanted so now we are on the silent treatment except for one thing, I am okay with it. Work was good, got some scrubs today as I ran out of laundry. I haven't worn them in a while but I love it. I think for layers and driving, it will be nice.
I also started feeling sad about leaving family and that went away with current relative in some fashion.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tis funny I came to my aunt/grandmas again to do some quick in and out scanning and that didn't happen as old mother nature had a different idea of ice. I did get some adresses of mail outs I need to do and college is in order. So here I spend the night again. I hope to get back to my apartment tomorrow. and now its just work and getting the van in order. The long bed wins in design.
I have been also thinking of rv size and I think a minivan with a good setup is good for me as I like stealth, and good mpg. The setup looks good so far, but a small carmate trailer would be better for a place to enjoy an indoor shower, porte pot and pantry. The van would remain the portable bedroom/living room. I like the freedom of the minivan but the ease of having a portable storage extended usage type deal. Alas, for now its just a mInivan
I wanted to touch on mobile employment as its something I will be doing during time off of school. is an awesome resource for those looking for a directory of archaeology schools or more about the field.
Temp agencies pose a unique opportunity, driving peoples pets and cars, pet and house sitting or delivering packages. and are also excellent resources.
I stayed at my aunt/grandmas last night and it was nice. We had a long chat and I will miss those chats for sure. I am getting my cello tuned today, scanning some things, paid off some bills and doing laundry. Its crazy. I have been showering daily but now that I relaxed and died my hair, I have been doing it less often which is good for training my body for the road where I take a shower 2 to 3 times a week and wash ups the rest of the time.
Written Jan 18 and 19: So yesterday was nothing shy of insane. We had a union meeting, interesting to say the least. I will still have a job thankfully.
Today; I woke up at noon today and there was nice patch on the car that required 10 min to defrost just to scrape. I woke up last night with the wackist dream that my dad had drove the van to tennessee to watch a tv show and my fan was on fire. It makes no sense but it felt real. I woke up panicked that my van was gon. It was odd.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I am working through a 16 hr day. I have a bit under 6 to go. I have had 2 cheese sandwiches, pb toast and Combos. Add coffee and its an odd event afterall.
Yesterday I bought a stanley mug and I love it.

Monday, January 17, 2011

So I finally went and saw chronicles of narnia today. It was moving and amazing to say the least, had a defined end but yet left room for more. I have movie addiction and the closer I get to going, the more I go and see. I get so sloppy when I don't get out of the apt. So if not then I clean ect from motivation. I draw energy from those around me as well as my mood mirrors my environment so if I don't get out, I sleep all the time. I like to observe people and just relax sort of ghost like. Its a family thing as half my family draw energy, but we don't give it a name, like fate, dust, wind and soul, it just is. It just is.
now I just have to get the windshield fixed on the van which is my income tax return, and we are ready to go. I am doing the cutouts today with the bed idea and that will also be built on income tax funds. After that the van is good to go. I need to sell the seats. I found a home for my old tv with vhs for when I leave and now I just need to figure out what to do with the computer but I need the portable hard drive to back it up first.
I need to get my given to dad dog licensed and shots this week, then the pup and kitten get fixed and I am done with vets for a while.
And that's it for now. Yesterday I went and saw a movie, today I am going to work and organize as its a 16 hr shift tomorrow.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Today I am going to see a movie, and the eagle on feb 11 as I am a huge fan of ancient Rome. I guess it is based off a book, so I have a trip to barnes and nobles to make. I wish I had an reader so I didn't have yet another book to carry around. The Tribune is one of my other all time favorites. I have read it 4 times and get something new everytime I read it.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Okay so I didn't leave anywhere today, just chilled. No big deal, there is always tomorrow. I NEED to get out of this stix and brix. I just got some odd feeling to go to chicago but I will wait for a few weeks yet as part of the journey west. I will probably spend 3 to 4 days there as I have so much I want to see and do but in all my time there just haven't had the chance. NYC same thought. I figure while on winter and spring breaks maybe go to both to explore more but that's a big maybe.
I have been thinking on extra overtime in march early on, pay off my bills for march in feb and hit the road before my lease is up ad the weather gets crazier.
So today is better, I got up, enjoyed a snuggle with the kitties while reading email on my phone. Then watched white collar, onto a bath, then season of the white witch, a new pair of shoes and then a walk in the park. I haven't been for a nice scenic walk in a while. One thing about the midwest is our free endless parks. And maybe take some nice pics of the scenery as this is my last winter here.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Do you ever get those days when you just feel depressed because everything you do is wrong? Today is definitely it. What a day. If people have something to say, say it to me. Nothing makes me madder than talking behind my back. I wish people would leave their personal crap at home as they make it harder on the rest of us. I am so ready for a change. Part of me is ready to go now and I have no motivation to pick up extra shifts. I thought about seasonal jobs.
I miscalulated time but glad I took the extra. the van will be stuff, bed behind drivers side and that's it for now. I feel like I am trying to overplan so mr coleman will handle the food, bed for sleeping, fans for ventilation and a mr buddy heater for the cold. Bucket for a pot, and wash up bin with a water cooler should work. So much better than car camping. I can buy what else I need once I get out there.
So they are talking of restructuring work which is HR speak for lets eliminate some full time first shift and move those to second, then move us all over the map or eliminate. I would hate to put my plans in high gear in the middle of winter that didn't start until recently. As of now, I have van mods to finish, finish the college registration which opens soon, and figure out the electronics which I may have to do without until I figure out how the trip is going to go. I think for the bed I will go front to back simple plywood frame on fold up legs that will require the van empty to fit in the slider. Add a hinged top and at a cheap build, I can make changes later.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I got the van packed up and its not to bad. I am starting to pack some into it now to get a better feel for how the trip is going to work out because I only have 1000 lbs inside and 100 on the roof after I install the rack and carrier which I may not need. She handled pretty good in the snow today so that's a plus. We are getting there slowly, but that's the nice part of pre planning.
Today is better. They got the roads plowed. I am going to do laundry today. And I am presuming tonight won't be ideal driving conditions so I am packing the van for a few days as I work Today through friday. I am taking my bath today and it may be wash ups the next 2 and then a friends house friday night. But it will be all good. I would rather be overprepared than under. it snowed quite a bit last night and getting to my apt could be challenging so why risk it.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Life lessons, I visited a relative today, one I moved from that had some alcoholic issues. since I left, he has gotten better, but unfortunately this hasn't been the case tonight. I found out he has been drinking again, a case every three days with one off. That's about 8 beers a day. and he is depressive and low blood sugar to boot, not a good cocktail. He is attempting some financial areas and refuses to do the paperwork or lift a finger but yet he can play facebook all day and night. I am trying to get him to stand on his own two feet but he won't. Life is what is happening when you aren't in front of the computer.
Unfortunately with my refusal to do everything he wants comes non support of the family. So the cats are coming, the van will be home and I will make it work. We all have a fight to fight. Life is not easy and never will be but while I am here I am going to make the most of it. I am considering after my apartment lease is over, working another few weeks and staying in the van locally just to work out the kinks and get a system down. It won't be hot and if it starts getting too warm, we will move on. The cats are now officially vetted for the year. I got them ID tags, vaccinated, will get them microchipped and julia spayed soon.
Next on gear is the litterbox and square laundry basket. An unused new litterbox can be a nice catchall or filing cabinet. I use 2 for books. Laundry baskets are nice for laundry, towels, food storage, breakables you want wrapped and close by, and stack nicely.
The duffel in a bag also from walmart mart is snazzy. It holds all my clothes quite nicely or makes a quick escape bag easily handling toiletries, clothes, shoes and food. Paired with my black bag I am set to go.
Sterilite rubber containers hold up to abuse, are cheap and light weight. I can't sit on them but they work for easy organized storage.
Of course I saw some pics of these totes pulling bed duty. Instead, I will construct a simple bed box with hinged lid for easy access. I will end up with 4 22 gal and 2 16 gal containers.
My 02 cool fan with ac and dc connections works wonderfully. I will be adding a couple more in the near future.
The 7 dollar black handbag has been my near and dear side kick for a few months. It holds up well carrying my cell, glasses, full sized paperwork, food and sometimes toiletries when I need to do a quick stealth wash up, this baby holds it all.
My brown diamond plaid made from recycled grocery bag hobo tote does wonders for the craft items, a change of clothes or wash up items. Both look great and work as purse and tote.
Gear. This is my 2010 list of things that at home and traveling are light weight and priceless. My sleeping bag from walmart, its black and grey, rated to 40 degrees and is lightweight synthetic. It rolls up, is big and incredibly warm.
I have both sleeping pads from walmart. one is long and thin and fits great next to the back rear seat for a quick sneeze at the end of the day. The other is short, wide and bumpy, better for home use but can be put on top of the other pad for more cushion, especially when the trifold bed isn't with me.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I took my Roma test today and got 11 out of 12 and missed a easy one, just wow lol. But it works for me. I am also attempting learn Latin but that's slow going. I am good at learning parts of language but full conversation proves more difficult.
I am also getting the SPQR on my other shoulder. I have a celtic knot in red on the other that was done free hand along with a gecko on my back. Those were done 8 years ago.


I just responded to comments as my phone allows me to update my blog from text but acts odd when I try to respond to comments. However, I use a relatives computer as I don't feel safe putting my desktop online, plus I will be backing it up soon, cleaning it and selling it. But for now my phone offers me the mobile freedom and serves my internet needs.
last night I found myself not feeling well. my body temp is low and I have been with a cold of sorts since then. So I may not be online much although I hope to get hold of college counselor to finish the process. I have been so busy lately and I only have 11 weeks 1 day until I head out. Although I might add 2 weeks depending on finances to that number. I want a money cushion in case my va takes a while to start up, I figure 2 months since they just changed the bill again, but that also includes funding for online courses which if I decide to study in russia for a bit, that gives me some options.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Another fine day at work. We had new staff so today we have more details figured out.
The commercial, isn't there a law against working out before 9 am from 5 hour energy, well I felt that way today. I am so tired today. I had 2 bad diet days and it really knocked me out. So today a few push ups, and a lot fewer calories, life is good. I gained and lost a lb in the last 2 days, but then again the bad days balance out the metabolism. I am just bleh today.
Other than that, its pretty quiet.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Well after 2 days of bad diet days, I am back on target. I did a bit of exercise today but limited as I don't want to push it.
I took the kitties to the vet. the kitten is having wobbly back legs until I gave her some benedril. The bill came to 245. It took me a long time to save up for it. Now I got julias spay after her shots and she is good to go. Ajah is good, and tired. Both girls are healthy and happy. Then I got the puppy, the windshield on the van to repair and we should be alright for a minute. My tax refund is staying in the bank and I owe myself this last vet expense, but it needed done.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Beds... Since moving from my old van to the apt, I didn't bother to add any furniture. I have added a few other items like my cell phone and other useful or entertaining items. But I refuse to buy furniture knowing I am moving again. and I don't like bulky items that collect dust and I can't more myself. Rubbermaid Is my friend along with folding tables. I can't tell you how nice it is to need a table in one room that can simply be moved, and when I am done, it shows away. Also great for company and looks nice with a cover.
But beds, I live in a small space now and have occupied small spaces for a while, like cat, small and cozy. I used to love wide and open but from a planetary and utilities cost factor, for one person, there is no need.
So in a small space, a bed is a lot of space and a pain to get under. I have roll up camper pads and a tri fold that do the job and when the time comes that I can't get on the floor, a frame of plywood thats a hinge box or a foot locker will do the trick. Maybe my refusal to get a bed and dressers is my screw societies informational requirements. Maybe its me holding onto my independence knowing I can roll out my bed, set my pack down and let the cats out of their carriers and I am home anywhere. Add food, water and sanitary facilities and life is good.
Today it started snowing again. Its been pretty quiet today. I got my final check from my old job, its my gas money to az. I am kind of stoke, that and my income tax check should get me there and settled.
I never bothered to replace my tv with built in vhs because I still have a few, but it stopped working so now I need someone to convert my vhs to DVD and then I can take them on the road with me. I was going to change the DVDs to digital format mp3, but I have to many and I am too lazy. I got rid of my jewel cases long ago and kept the DVDs and cds in one giant case. I need to expand to another case though.
I am also still looking at tablet computers but the programs on my desktop were a lot of money. I am not sure if I want to get a portable hard drive and back my old desktop up or take just the tower with me. I wonder if the tower could be hooked to the tablet. I need to take a trip to best buy or radio shack.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I went for a walk and I am numb. Its bloody cold lol. However, I was on lunch and a co worker came in and took over the table. So I went forth and took my walk, its likely to be colder later so I cam work with it.
Later: its colder... I have lost 5 lbs now in a few days. Of course the beginning will be water weight. I am also slowing down the exercise program too walking, stretching, abs and push ups daily, about 30 min a day and a full dance routine, step or other cardio for 30 more min every other day. I was going to consider running but with my ankles, not yet.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I am off work today just chillin, slept quite a bit, no hip pain today thankfully. I just started part 1 of the ballet workout as I wanted to stretch and do abs. I will do some push ups later today as well. I feel really tired today but all I drank is water and I have ate 1000 calories which was my goal for workout days off just to give my system a break. I am considering a cranberry tea fast as well to cleanse but I will do that closer to my leave time. today I am giving my body a respite from caffeine. Its that slow feeling like this process is long and it makes tasks seem long, but its something else to focus on over the move.
So I build the bed box layout. I am debating between buying a foot locker that locks and building a standard bed frame. Then I could put my totes and blankets in the foot locker that I don't use all the time or simply want out of the way. Then the stuff I do use could go in the front seat ie clothes and toiletries. I am going to have to take the other seat out in the back rear, and I am going to put a the cats there. The nice thing about this idea is that I can sleep on the floor on the cat kennel side or on top of the foot locker. Although I think the foot locker is going behind the drivers side and the floor space open to the slider so the slider can be used as a space expansion.
Also the foot locker can serve as a desk area, so can the slider area or the open floor space. This way I don't have to add anymore room and its all light weight. I was debating also on removing the front passenger seat entirely but that might draw attention and I like having somewhere to belt the cats in if needed.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Well so far under 1500 for 2 days. I strive for 1200 but have historically been too hard on myself so I get the leeway thing. I went for a walk at work besides some ballet this morning and some intensive abs.
However, when walking in the cold, my hip started to hurt and it has ever since. So I will work on the upper body tonight and maybe some light abs and some bee topping around with the music. My arms was the other part I was concerned with. I have always had VERY solid arms so I need to get them back.
In other news, it was like spring today with green grass. Odd but nice. Maybe thats why my motivation, the sun is out, I am not cooped up inside although I have been getting workout gear that can be used in both environments.a. I want a stair stepper next as I took classes in a previous life lol.
Well I did the plunge and stepped on the scale. I didn't check 2 days ago but I suspect I have a longer journey than anticreated lol. And of course I thought I would have a check all functions for all my old text messages but I found it after manually deleting 300 messages. Just wow.
So I did the workout or part of it today. I re did part 1 of disc 2 and then the middle section. My hip doesn't hurt and I feel better already and less stressed at work. Its motivation for sure.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

working out

I did part 1 of the NYC ballet before work today and it's the third time in 2 days. I think I mostly got it and I can see the difference in my felxibility. I also did some push ups, sit ups, and more stretches today.
Not sure if I mentioned why I am doing this, but I have a bad ankle from a cross country injury that I sustained in HS. I started having hip pain recently which is this dull constant painevery time I get up. At 26 I am not ready to give up my mobility. I gained a large amount of weight a few years ago but I recently gained 13 more. So I am hoping by eating less, increading blood curculation and creating an exercise routine that is fun, challenging, mobile, and most important, that I will stick too. I want something that when life gets stressful, when on the road or visiting friends I can do without a bunch of noise, is low impact for my ankles and will give me back my flexibility. I love dance and particularly ballet.

However, part 1 has come back to me quite easily but I just popped in part 2 and I know some of the moves, but its a challenge to do some of them. I used to be able to do this entire workout part 1 and 2 no problem, but now curling up in a ball I find my stomach in the way, not a good feeling. Don't ask what I weigh, its not enough I can't run and walk, but enough to be in the way, safe to say, it's to much. This isn't about the numbers on the scale, its about the fact that the decisions I have made regarding poor nutrition, sporadic exercise and WAY to many calories is creating an impact that the US surgeon general warns about. Now I have to live with the consequences of my poor decision, find a balance in my life and regain my health. My weight and overall self is unacceptable, so if you choose to read this part of my blog, join me in taking off the fat suit one layer at a time. It won't be easy, it won't be fast, but it will be done.

I am writing this because this is my blog, because there are many sides to me that take dominance at different times, and maybe my lesson will inspire someone else, back to the dust and shadows post of earlier, in a positive way, maybe it will be a good read for some and for me, its my outlet so that in the end, as most of my journals, they show parts of my life.

I have been down this road before, but not so far to come back. The road is hard and the journey long, it won't be the straight path but the culmination of my divorce, job stress and other personal issues have created this clutter that I carry around every day. I finally got rid of the physical space clutter, now its time to work on decluttering me and my soul, to fill my glass back up and dance a happy dance where I can actually do the splits again, find my ribs and collarbone in the mush, and have a lighter load to carry the lighter pack throughout life, and actually enjoy life, and who knows, much like quitting smoking was, I will probably save a few costly Dr bills -:)
Good music good times. Music truly is the answer to the worlds problems. At work, we can agree on r and b, we don't talk, just jam. It makes the night go well, the residents enjoy it and it just makes life smooth. I am void of major thought at this time as my brain is just drifting. I just ate a small plateful of half a hamburger, 1/4 c of mashed potatoes, and 1/2 c of cole slaw. I have been putting my spoon down for each bite and drinking water in between. Its working well. I ammunition stuffed. At 1200 calories a day its important to feel full. I am doing 6 meals @ 200 each to rev my metabolism and shrink my stomach. Tonight I will do 2 sessions of ballet and cardio and approach part 2 of my workout DVD. I am considering getting tae bought again as well. Then in the van a laptop and picnic table @@ the park will do. I want to do some intensive hiking on my way to az.
So today I work. Having yesterday off was nice. I have tomorrow off as well. I find it easier for me to be productive with less days in a row worked. Although tomorrow I go pick up my check from my old job, say my final farewells and truly have closure. Then I can truly close that chapter of my life. From there its w2, file, money back, car windshield repaired and on we go.
I did do the nyc ballet workout part 1 again today and I love it. I actually listened to classical music on the say to work. I had a small bowl of cereal and 3 boiled eggs for breakfast and snack so, so far so good.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

We are dust and shadows, dust and shadows, from the movie Gladiator, has been sticking with me lately. What we do in this life echoes an eternity from same movie, is so true.
I also want to quote Robert Frost, Fire and Ice, "some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice, from what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire, but if I had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great and would suffice. "
I quote these because I have been contemplating the word hate. Its a@strong word that eats the soul. I hate no one simply have a strong dislike. When we hate, we quit living. It takes a person from a state of active participation to a state of being just waiting for the end, but in the end, what we do on earth will shape the sands of time and what we leave behind is our shadow, our doings that influenced anothers decision that continues on and on. When we act, we must contemplate what our course of thought and action will do in the future, not just now. Nothing we do now is just for now. May our shadows and thoughts be kind and create good things for ourselves and others now and down the line.
I am shaky now. I haven't really worked out since moving to my current location as I don't want to disturb the neighbors. So I pulled out my new york city ballet DVD that I bought several years ago and did part 1. I had to do some parts a few times to get back in the groove. I took ballet for a while in ak and growing up. I have gained more weight since working 2 jobs and I am starting to feel it. So I am doing something about it even though I am feeling muscles I forgot I have. For anyone wanting a good do at home at your own pace with a great quiet workout try this DVD set. I am in no way affiliated with this school although I do enjoy watching them in person.
I won't lie, its a challenge. The floor bar work can be done on a bed in the van. This is a workout for those wanting a challenge, a lot of rewinding to get the form but enjoyable and not the typical dull gym workout. I recommend going online and learning the 5 positions as it will alleviate some of the rewinding I would imagine. The abs workout is priceless. also if you can't do the jumps or need a brake, take a moment and stretch or walk in place. When you own the workout, you can do as much as you want and take as long as you want. This combined with walking, more stretching and the shake weight should work well. I can't say I will lose the weight quickly but my heart rate went up, I am going to be more flexible and my ankles will be stronger. Plus I miss dance and would like to take a few week adult course every now and then.
So today is new years. I worked until 10 last night, went over to a relatives to spend new years with family, spent the night after enjoying a little alcoholic beverage,and drove home this morning. it was a nice time and well spent. Boy am I glad I didn't have to stay at work. The weather is raining and 50s.a. Never seen this before but I will work with it. Hopefully the rest of winter will be just as mild.
Ajahs eye is cleared up but she had some loose stools. I won't be giving them anymore canned food until stools are back to normal. Her temp is still normal and she is more alert. I figured cleaning would help in case she was sensitive to something in the environment. The kitten is her normal chaty self. So hopefully by tomorrow stools will be normal, eyes will stay clear and if all goes well, that's about it. However, I am off tuesday so I can do something with it then if needed.
The van is doing the difficult starting problem again. I will be doing laundry today and going to work tomorrow and if the problem persists, I will have to get it done tuesday. I won't be picking any shifts up for right now. I will have christmas on this check plus one extra shift so hopefully that will do.
I bought the shake weight recently and its working. I will be doing that, memorizing the new york city ballet workout and jump roping. That's my new years plan, lose weight and exercise daily.